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14 July 2012 @ 12:00 am
†¥ ..:: - B a s t d u L u n a - ::.. ¥†
                                           Sketch Journal 

                                                                                      Nonsense


“There is no use trying," said Alice, "one can't believe impossible things."

"I dare say you haven't had much practice," said the Queen.

"When I was your age, I always did it for half an hour a day. Why, sometimes I've believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast.”
-Lewis Carroll



Contact
 
 
♥
30 January 2010 @ 05:11 pm







AHHHH, giggle. There's really no one quite like my mom:

martha.jaskolka: bottle of blood =did you forget jesus blood that died for you

Kara: er
what?
oh!
my message [ Bottle of Your Blood Inside Me ]
it's from a song
I dunno what song though XD but I thought the concept was cool

martha.jaskolka: jesus is cooler
 
 
Current Mood: touched
 
 
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26 January 2010 @ 11:12 pm




First complete homework of the semester!
Yes, I used a ref(of myself at like, 15yrs), NO I did not use filters or overlays, and YES I am extremely proud that I am able to make a semi-realistic rendered digital painting ♥ (not that i ever really tried... )

Edit:
Decided to touch up the face and.. well, everything else. Hope this is better, go go cheap time saver brushes.




Obligatory Meme I never bothered to post ages ago... was a Before/Now of the "Artist" you. I must say, I came quite a-ways from my panic-attack little Kara-self. Still a love seeker ♥ alas, Sailor Moon's influence on me will never change!



andnandandnajfahjghag

London signups are Feb 3rd :xxxxxxx tickets are totally under 1k! I'ma see if I can sign up but buy my own ticket to save 200-300 dollars, since the signups are the initial ticket deposit... XD I'm cheap, I know ♥

Random Sketches and work from First Term )
 
 
Current Mood: doeswantVitasbabies
Current Music: Vitas - Dreams
 
 
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25 January 2010 @ 01:09 am




New Project of total AWSOMENESS. ness ness nesssss

....ssss




...sssssss
 
 
Current Mood: sleepy
Current Music: Portishead - Only You
 
 
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29 December 2009 @ 07:21 pm







collaboration of ideas thrown into this XD I'm not sure where I'm going with it. Chinese-dragon influence.. I put ears on the side of the hat XD they're cute, but I'm itching to put antlers too, but it might get too cluttered at that point. 'been switching back and forth fro the shoes to head, working a while on either and trashing most ideas I eventually come up with -throws hands in the air- We'll see what happens.

:D but I do have a sexy catsuit in mind for this! mwahaha. I'ma make some hand bracer do-things too. When I get a theme down wit the shoes (or even just the helmet) it'll help move things along nicely.
 
 
Current Music: Mozart - Requiem
 
 
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27 December 2009 @ 11:18 pm





EEEeee! Minel got me three of some of the most awsome books ever:

The Cream of Tank Girl
The Goblins of Labyrinth
and
AND
Brian Froud's: World of Faerie:
Front Back


-ensue frothing and dying- ♥ ♥ ♥
 
 
Current Music: Coldplay - Yellow
 
 
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20 December 2009 @ 02:34 am





eehehehhehheh.
My first "DOES WANT"-grind .... the War Talbuk!.




yeah, I know. Better things to do, but AHHH. Needed nonsense tiem.



next up, Argent Hypogryph, oh you sly sexy devil you ♥
 
 
Current Mood: ditzy
Current Music: Ani Difranco - Hell Yeah
 
 
♥
10 December 2009 @ 11:57 pm




Before I completely crash out for the night (as Mimi has done so in my lap), I'd like to take a minute and public an entry I think I should let the world know about.

I can't wait to reformat my fucking heart.

This last decade has been utter horse shit. Fuck falling in love with a man that doesn't respect you, think of you as his everything, nor devote the time and loyalty to the bond between you.
Seriously, just fuck it.

I gave three presentations this week, and had a conference with a teacher. Every one of them sees potential, they like my explanations, my openness, and what I devote into works and practice pieces. My art is from my soul and when it feels empty and neglected, so does the passion for my art.

I want to experience life as if I were in love again, really in love. And for the first time in my life feel that same love back.
I wouldn't need any other mother fucking thing in this world.
I regret it turned out the way it did for me. If I could wear an ollamh's binding and desert my feelings, I would. It seems like the far-away emptiness would be a lot more bearable but just as regrettable as how I feel now. At least I wouldn't be taunted. "Now what was that feeling that made me sick to my stomach with every secondary feeling? What made me want to tear down mountains and run to either side of the earth?"
And then I would move on. Alas.
I'm a firm advocate in fate and I think I'm subjecting myself to that pain again, but with fresh doses of it daily. Hurt/Ignore/Hurt/Ignore. There has to be a reason for this, why I can't just give the fuck up and let it be.
I think a proper description of how I really feel about everything is a loss of depth perception. Nothing's real anymore, just flat, boring, daze-ful...

O' Forces of nature! I need love! Bring me love!
Bring me REAL Love!

some lyrics from the song. Not exactly relating to the entry, but almost. I don't hate myself, I love my ideologies, and my sketches may be a waste, but their worth is in the process of creation.
--
But just then, my knees
give under me.
My head feels weak
and suddenly
it's clear to see
it's not them but me,
who has lost my self-identity.
As I hide behind
these books I read,
while scribbling
my poetry,
like art could save a wretch like me,
with some ideal ideology
that no one could hope to achieve.
And I am never real;
it is just a sketch in me.
And everything I made is trite
and cheap
and a waste
of paint,
of tape,
of time.
 
 
Current Mood: annoyed
Current Music: Bright Eyes - Waste of Paint
 
 
♥
08 December 2009 @ 01:41 am








Composition Final:
95% of my grade /dies





Head & Hands Final:
his head's too small =__=


Design 1 Final:
Still needs to be colored 3 different ways...

**Check this site out! Great mandala artist

Perspective Final:
... is going to put me out $100+
I have to scan and PRINT out all of my work into a booklet.
I doubt the teacher has even given us a grade over the last 14 weeks for our homework.
What a jackass.


Writing Final:
A Screenwrite!
Yet to do, but started... fucking.. still have 2 essays to write before class XD;;;; gawd, I hate that interview assignment.


break over. Back to my sculptures.
 
 
Current Mood: working
Current Music: The Ting Tings - Keep Your Head
 
 
♥
26 November 2009 @ 09:42 pm


I met with my advisor last week and I'm going to branch off into Illustration: Visual Storytelling for Film. I want to be an art director! Or something like that. Thanks to my wonderful ex for sending the video, he can be such a sweety, it's a perfect example of what I'd like to be involved in. Fucking love it! The style's too cartoony compared to what I wanna do. I guess think Fantasia mix an 80s video I can't seem to find (give Yahoo Answers a day or two XD those people are genius'[ geni? cactus/cacti? ) Anyway, who knows what'll come about in the next few years ^___^ the future is still to be determined, every little thing is another nudge in the right direction \0/ Things are looking up tremendously, energy coming back, excitedness about life, YES. Btw, GOING TO LONDON IN THE SPRING, KTHXWHOO!

Going to start cropping my school work to show everyone :D expect a real update this weekend!


btw, I made the entire Thanksgiving dinner today! I have the blisters to prove it!

Turkey (I made it dance in the sink XD )
Stuffing (with apples slices for accents!)
Green beans (with Lemon zest and almonds!)
Mashed potatoes (with colby jack cheese, garlic, and a hint of cream cheese!)
Marshmallow Yams!
Honeyed Carrots!
Cranberries ala Orangey zest!
Flakey Biscuits!
Gravveeyy! (being the last part, I felt sad when I liquefied the turkey's heart, liver, and kidney with the blender XD they were so cute and squishy~~ )

I wanted to bake pumpkin pie and serve some corn as well D: but we only had1 big pot I had already shared with the yams, potatoes, and stuffing. Alas, there was no time... however, left overs abound.

TURKEY SANDWICHES.

 
 
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18 November 2009 @ 04:17 am
Albinoni - Adagio, For Violin, Strings & Organ In G Minor ← Download me~!

Addicted to this song, makes me feel hella creative, with a tinge of loss. I think I'm in a revolutionary "new chapter" type of personality change here. Not much of what I used to listen to is enjoyable anymore. I still have plenty of my mellowdramatic, dance, and 8-bit artists... I just can't stand listening to them anymore. I'm also feeling pretty lethargic lately. I think the weather has something to do with it, and my run-down emotional back-brain state. Usually I'd spend all night reading by ambient lighting, basking in the fragrance of giant candles, and sipping tea. Can't seem to do that now. Too cold, too tired, too sad (on levels I don't really want to explain publicly).


So my dad gracefully took out a loan in my name, instead of his, like I thought was the plan. Seems as though, if all goes according to the tuition for the next 4 years, I'll be dishing out almost $200k on a Bachelor's degree.

fff.

Here's the most relieving statement out of the 7 pages of breakdown:
"If you die, your loan obligation will be cancelled."
... thanks. Glad to know you won't be selling my organs in the black market...

Seriously though, loans are fucking scarey. I trusted my dad to help me out, guess that didn't go to plan. There's a guy I met at school, the funny asshole quiet-type I usually get along with in public facilities that went to an art highschool out in Miami. It's his first term too, fucker is so nonchalant about his education =__= and you know why? He got a scholarship paying for everything. Just one apparently, and it's not from ACD itself.
Augh. Just as bad as rich people attending there because they have the money to do it and want to feel culturally influential.

At any rate, I still hold promise to posting class work, since these last 14 weeks have gone by fucking fast :\ I just... need to find time, or bother-ment (refer to lethargia↑) So, since I was accepted into ECA, I've been on the fence about school in the states. I got accepted to a really good one, am able to pay for it, with 25 years of debt ahead of me. So the last couple days I've been thinking....
Fuck It.
I want to get my Master's. I want to get my Master's in Edinburgh.
I want to be good. I want to be the best. I want to be the best I can be.
I want to blow everyone out of the water.
I want to stop getting down on myself when I can't get a certain style correct. I want to stop thinking what people think of me.
I want to not want to cry when I draw something horrendously unproportioned.
I don't want to lose my style, I want to improve it. I want to pass my classes. I want to impress.
And most of all, I want to be the one who paves her future.
I want the incredible sense of pride in 5, 10, or 30 years from now to feel that I earned everything I have.


You know what's clashing with this though? Probably not, but it's what's making me lethargic, energetic, sad, scared, angry, and completely... out of my mind.

I guess that's the result of "reaping what I sow". I want to shake it, but I don't think I ever will... and honestly? I don't want to. I wish it would have worked out. Fuah.

Here's a letter I wrote to Birgitta MacDonald a second ago. She's the amazing interational student advisor I spoke to when I was in Scotland last year. She helped me so much ♥ I can't thank her enough. She didn't reply to my last letter, but I think it got lost in the spam of the summer/Fall-term mail.... or maybe she just trashed it. Either way, if I don't get a reply Friday when I get back from my meeting with the Director's (described below), I'ma reactivate my Virgin phone and give 'em a call.

Letter to Birgitta )
 
 
Current Mood: thirsty
Current Music: A Fine Frenzy - Ashes and Wine
 
 
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16 October 2009 @ 02:34 pm
real post to come, for now...



MINE
+ matching top :D


Measurements are a little off... the waist is 3.5" larger then my own, but nothing a couple safety pins can't fix!


Go Here! Her stuffs not all that expensive. I was prepared to buy a corset for for $150, but looky! XD I GOT A WHOLE OUTFIT FOR THAT PRICE! GoGo Burlesque Zombie Neko! There's a girl in my class that's making me acrylic nails, the creepy long ones I'm so happily fond of XD this is so going to rock. Yay for not having to sift through Salvation Army!

Btw, Me and Minel are headed off to the Edison for Halloween, and after watching Zombieland (♥♥) I came up with the best couple's costume... Eddie and Erin are doing the overly played out, "Angel/Devil" routine. FFFff, fuck that. For me and Minel will be addressed as "The Zombie an her Hunter" Hawhawhaw! He's already got the military gear. We're gonna buy a couple toy guns, saw off the handle and stick them in strappy sheath things to imitate arsenaly-equipped madman Zombie apocalypse survival-ee.
We're gonna rock |D
 
 
Current Mood: ecstatic
 
 
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20 September 2009 @ 12:11 am
An Article about a 7 year-old with Schizophrenia... I thought this part of the article was interesting to read about, kind of inspiring, really. In a curious sort of way:
Link To Article



"The week following Labor Day began badly.

The hallucinations of rats and cats that crowd Jani's mind were becoming more prominent. Two phantom figures -- Wednesday the rat and Four Hundred the cat -- are the restless hallucinations who urge Jani to do what she calls "bad things."

That week, Wednesday told her to find a place to jump from 50 feet. Jani told her parents about Wednesday's command but informed them, "I'm not listening."

"I do think it's a positive sign that she told us preemptively," Michael said.

Four Hundred the cat had returned in early September after a pleasant absence. "Jani became very insistent that we had to take care of Four Hundred to keep Four Hundred from bothering her," Michael said.

On Sept. 10, while at school, Jani said, Four Hundred told her to run out of her classroom three times. On one occasion, Jani blindly followed the beckoning Four Hundred into the street. She was readmitted to UCLA later that day.

"We took her back because we feared for her safety," Michael said.

The Schofields hope their daughter's hospitalization won't be lengthy. The doctors are increasing her dose of Clozaril to 300 milligrams a day -- a dose similar to what adults take. But the couple is struggling with feelings of failure and worries about the future.

"It hurts like hell to send her back to the hospital," Michael said. "When she's in the hospital, we feel like we've lost the battle -- not the war, but the battle -- and we need to regroup and prepare for the next battle."

When Jani is discharged, she will not return to school. "I'm better at keeping her out of her psychoses," Michael said. "Special ed is just not set up for a child with schizophrenia. And it's difficult to trust anyone else to do what we do for Jani."

The Clozaril has helped, overall, but it will never extinguish the mysterious animals and little girls that frolic in Jani's "other world," which she calls Calalini."
 
 
Current Mood: curious
 
 
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19 September 2009 @ 10:48 am




Whoo! Birthday me! I love waking up, logging into DA, and the first Recent Dev. I see is this one: Textures 13, Cable9Tuba. I'm watching him for his form of body, not anatomical penis shots, kthx.
That aside, Mom sent me a really nice card yesterday and the corset I've been waiting a year to get from Louise Black! Crazy how time flies by XD I remember the night I bought it and the ribcage one lik it was yesterday T_T I'm 21, getting old! OLD.
→→→ →→→



→→→ →→→
←←← ←←←



←←← ←←←
17th Century Cameo and swirly patterns ftwwwww.


I'm not sure what I'm going to do today, I've been sick all week, maybe roll over and vomit more phlegm into a bag.
Whee.

I should take a bit of time though to reflect on college: I LOVE IT. Lots of work, but the classes... they're a week apart! So if I start working on one assignment a day, little by little I can finish by the weekend and have Sun/Mon night to myself X3 of course that's in theory. It's Sat and I haven't done jack shit since Tuesday. Ahah. How Kara-like.

My Composition teacher (Mark Strickland) loves me, but I think I dissapointed him when I said I wanted to do sculpturing for my Scholarship Project instead of a painting or somehthing, and that most of my work is built around distorted anatomy (being that he's a Composition teacher, there's no such thing as thinking outside the human body box of LAWWWW. Or, constellation points, if he'd want to get technical D: ) so he referred me to another professor that... DADADA, teaches IMAGINATOMY! Honestly, I didn't evn think there were classes for things like that. But there are! And I'm not in it! D< gawddamnit! Nearly waived out of my Writing Class 'cause the teacher loves my philosphical/creative side, but because I didn't quite touch the "point" of the essay we were given to analyze, she kept me in :\ I could have really used that extra 3 hours Thursday nights, AND the 5 hours of research/writing we gotta do. Fuck obscure essays. I'd rather do more creative writing or none at all -__-

←← Here's the kind of sculpturing I'd like to be able to do by Christmas.
I did a bit of sculpturing in Highschool, some of you might recall... when I was doing it, hocrap FUN. Loved it. Too bad I gave them away :\ ah well, I CAN MAKE BETTER JES. And I will! ♥

At any rate. If I can get my shit down and finish all homework by Sunday, I think I'll start using Mondays to go to campus on my off-days. Hopefully Rey will be there(Imaginatomy Teacher). Here's his website (to be honest I havent looked at it yet, hopefully I'm not linking you to a shitty site): http://www.reybustos.com/.


So my back's killing me. I'll update this when we bother to do anything fun as an assignment. So far it's just been kiddy shit in Design and studying of the skull/body. Although, I gottaa admit, I'm loving my Perspective class!


EDIT
lmfaaooo! I just went to check out Rey's site... Amen brotha.

 
 
Current Mood: groggy
Current Music: Shiina Ringo - Yer Blues
 
 
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11 September 2009 @ 02:48 pm
roommate = asshole.
 
 
Current Mood: annoyed
 
 
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06 September 2009 @ 08:48 pm




Sorry, just an update of HOW MUCH I LOVE MY SIM.
/tears up.

I really don't want to lose it, I was going to build a rental shop last night... but Minel was against it,considering it's not a full sim it wouldn't be able to handle the vendors... and I accidentally made the shop the size of jesus. So I finished the texturing, shoved some seats into it... and wamph. Came out with a really awsome lounge-type dome. o_o fucking love it.
My head's still spinnin' on what to do with the fucking place, so I guess I'll just start child-laboring a bunch of outfits, prepare to see even less of me!



( please bear with my incapability to be online and work at the
same time... [this is mostly at you Mousey, you know I love you XD ♥♥])

Card Themed Set Mockup:
(since ForeArdune is going to taking fucking ages. Animation = pain in the ass)
Spade
Diamond
Club
Heart

 
 
Current Mood: pleased
Current Music: Regina Spektor - That Time
 
 
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05 September 2009 @ 12:37 pm
/OFFICIAL (ART)COLLEGE STUDENT.

You know, it's slightly overtly highly and obtrusively intimidating when the near-graduates sit up on stage and tell you, without hesitation... "watch your mental health."

Today was orientation, a four-day extravaganza cut down to 2 8-9 hour days. It was great fun, aside from the fact that they all relentlessly went on about how much work it's going to be. I think this whole day was about that alone. I couldn't help but laugh when someone stood up and finally asked, "so to try and get a picture of the OTHER end of the spectrum, what's the most fun you've had at ACCD?" and they all coughed. XD No shit. I think the average amount of fun leveled to playing video games in school. One class had a squirt gun fight in their room as a study... -archs brow-
more College talk )

So, to get into this bitch, I spent a weekend drawing a bunch of figure studies... I tried to cover the basic mediums, so here ya are:





/ School.
<SL>
So, I've been neglecting my sim a little. Mostly due to being overwhelmed with trying to find a job, trying to get into College, and attempting to escape for some MMOage. I've also opened a sketch thing on Gaia... More info on that below.
I never posted the finished Sialis Lutaria armor set D: which I feel lame about. Click the image on the left to see the SLX page and colors and shite I put together :3

Sidenote: I'm going to remake the corners and possibly remove Spira's shop to help afford sim cost. I'm making about half the tier, so it isn't as bad it was. I'm sure once I finish the next couple outfits in progress, I'll be closer to having the shop and sim paying for itself, truth be told, that's all I really want. The corners and high-end rentals will help too. ACTIVE shopowners this time... -__-
ForeArdune:
Upcoming CyberSkating outfit.
Name derived from my recent re-obsession with Starcraft
(AUUUGH 2ND ONE COME OUT NAOOO.)




Annnd finally! To help me through the figure studies, I decided to hop back on Gaia for a few nights... opened a temp shop and got some comissions. One of them in particular is going to be a lot of work, but it's main focus will be designing the outfit of a character, and specified HIGH DETAIL. Which I'm like, swooning over.
So I'm getting the mini ones out of the way... would have done them already if it wasn't for the fire (evacuated for nearly a week straight! AUGH, how lame is that???)
Ehehe, but Minel's grandmother is going to teach me how to crochet/knit so it's all good.

Working on ↓ 

Link to Thread
incase you wanna check out the other shitty doodles >>;;
 
 
Current Mood: indifferent
Current Music: Hybrid - If I Survive
 
 
♥
29 August 2009 @ 03:02 pm



It's an old image, click it to go to the Google Update page. We're the jut of land/valley that goes into the mountains, "Briggs Terrace". We already packe dup to leave 3 days ago, looks like it's finally reached us, ARGH.

Hopefully the whole place doesn't burn down... I got accepted into ACCD! all those fucking figure studies paid off, MWAHAHA. I don't care if I gotta squat in the ashes up here or in the forest by the school... I'M GOING! Orientations this week, Classes begin next week, whoo whoo whoo!
 
 
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13 August 2009 @ 07:42 pm







deerchk
by ~edelias on deviantART
 
 
Current Music: Bjork - Ancestors
 
 
♥
21 July 2009 @ 12:31 am




Look what I made!

Blogger SketchJournal^2

yeeeaahh... I'll probably never use it. Good brain exercise though, made it for a more... professional/clean looking "this mah shit" then forwarding a prospective client to this place.
So yeah, went on Craigslist today looking for some kind of fun artsy job, I found a couple, and then I found this: http://losangeles.craigslist.org/sfv/med/1278242751.html

 
 
 
 

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